>So we ended up in Manhattan today. When Em said we wouldn’t be coming until January I knew she wouldn’t make it. Sure enough this morning I got a text from Tigger, “Do you want to go to the city?” So I hopped in the shower, then ran quick to the bank and the gas station to get Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi for Em. Then home to put on make-up and wait for Em, oh I also made myself a fried egg and cheese sandwich.

It was D, Em, Tigger and me. I was afraid having D along would ruin the experience but he behaved himself. We didn’t find the Apple store he wanted to go to but we did find the Whole Food store and I bought some of the brown rice pasta I heard about and Em got some biscotti. Then we went to find D and Tigger at Borders. Tigger and I got snacks and water and Em got a set of notebooks. This is one (I was writing this in a notebook before blogging it here). I know I am going to blog this but I have images in my head that will be gone when I get home. So she gave me this notebook so I could record them on the train.

When we got to Central Park it was dark and my head was really pounding. I was going to get a hot sausage but they were walking away. I didn’t really need it and I shouldn’t have eaten more bread. Anyway Em said she would have waited, has she ever left me? YES she left me in Buffalo.

As we left Central Park I took a Maxalt. These are not the melting tablets, they are regular tablets you have to swallow, but they are really small and easy to swallow. I didn’t like the taste of the other ones anyway. We walked back to Grand Central Terminal and the sky was charcoal gray in color up to the fog/clouds then it was white, it was so neat. The tops of the buildings were cut off.

We went to Annie Moore’s for dinner. Everything was good. I had a Glenfiddich which might not have been such a good idea after having a Maxalt. I got very sleepy, Em suggested I have a cup of coffee and that certainly helped.

Now as I am sitting on the train I am remembering I never cleaned Butterscotch’s box like I said I would, and I didn’t tell you I had $89 in coins so now I have $149 for my I-Pod, and I really hate my ear buds because they keep falling out of my ears, and the best thing about getting rid of a migraine is being able to turn my music up really loud without pain. And sometimes I wonder why, since I grew up in the country and small towns, why do I love Manhattan so much?

I know one is supposed to write feelings in a journal but it is hard for me. My biggest feeling right now is fear. Fear my plans to move won’t work out, that I might make the move but not be able make a go of it. I guess it can be summed up a fear of failure. I lived alone in Buffalo, but Buffalo was depressing, I was glad to leave it. Well the only thing to do is keep moving forward.

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