Archive for August 21, 2008

where’s my tumtum

I got a response from the woman who bought the doll, the chair was broken. I didn’t pack it securely enough. Oh well. I am not selling the others on E-Bay, it cost me money. I will list them on Craigs List when I get home. I keep meaning to but forgetting to. I really need to go now. It is lunch time and I am tired and unhappy.

My stomach is back on its roller coaster ride. I wonder if it is the Kashi bars, after all, they do have wheat and apple in them. Ok, now I have forgotten what else I wanted to say and now I have to go.

Got a cookie and a beer on the way home. That is my preferred snack since the popcorn the other day made me sick. Funny how cookies and beer don’t. You would think beer would aggravate an upset tummy. I laid down when I got home and fell asleep and so I missed dinner. It was hot dogs and beans, yum. So when I got up I made a sandwich: on a hamburger roll I put margarine, cinnamon honey and Habanero cheese. Now that was good!


>M sent this to me:

I have to share this with you.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’

(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam!)

Banging your head against a wall
uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???)

(Did our government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish don’t have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)