Before anyone jumps all over my shit, I know my definition of a bad day is nowhere near as bad as some people’s bad day. Some people have cancer, some people are abused, some people are homeless, have no healthcare, have no friends, voted for Trump and now realize he lied to them. OK that last group I have lost all sympathy for. If you are stupid enough to believe his lies, you deserve all the pain you get.

Whew. Today started good, no work, so no getting up early, in fact I didn’t get up to lunchtime. That’s when the shit hit the fan. It look like I had spilled coffee on my kitchen counter, but to the left of my sink and my coffee maker is to the right of my sink. Then I smelled the liquid and it smelled like vinegar, but I don’t have vinegar in my apartment because I am allergic to it. Then I thought, maybe I spilled beer, you know, maybe I poured a glass of beer, didn’t drink it and when I poured it out I missed the sink (could happen right?), so I started to clean it up, picking up the things on my counter and rinsing them and mopping up the spill, then I noticed it was all over the wall, and on the underside of my cabinets! What the actual FUCK happened here?

I had been boiling water to cook pasta for my lunch. I turned off the water, I cleared off my table, moved everything from my counters to the table and washed the counters and my wall. The liquid seemed to be coming from behind my kitchen cabinets. I looked above them and there were no stains so it wasn’t coming from the apartment above. That leaves only one explanation. Demons. My apartment is possessed by demons. I briefly considered calling my landlord, but decided against it.

Then I got diarrhea, while doing my laundry.

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