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These are all true.
 
Waiting His Turn: Feliks Goldshtein, 24, was arrested minutes after he allegedly robbed a bank in Ohio on Jan. 8. He may have tipped off the teller by standing in line while wearing a ski mask before staging the holdup, police said. (ya think?)
 
Squeezed Out: Michael G. Dick allegedly walked naked into an elderly woman's home and pushed her into a chair. But the 88-year-old victim got the best of him, reaching around and squeezing his crotch. He bolted, and was soon arrested. She was unharmed. (Don't mess with Grandma.)
 
Raiding the Refrigerator:  Devin Perry allegedly went to great lengths Dec. 14 to recover his urine sample from a probation office in Gainesville, Fla. Police say Perry, 26, shot out a window at the office and stole a small refrigerator with the sample, which tested positive for drug use. Perry was arrested at his home. (O.K. this guy is just stupid.)
 
Bad Dad: According to police, Daniel Allen Everett showed up in a "World's Greatest Dad" T-shirt for a sex meeting with someone he thought was a 14-year-old girl. The Michigan man pleaded guilty to sex abuse on Aug. 2. (I don't have anything to add about this.)
 
Duct Tape Bandit: In August 2007, a man wrapped his head in duct tape and tried to rob Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Ky. He fled after the owner wielded some duct tape of his own — wrapped around a club. Kasey Kazee pleaded guilty to the crime and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. (Isn't duct tape great? One guy says yes, the other, maybe not.)
 
To see the pictures and some others mind-numbed criminals click on the link.