When I first thought about moving I had some scary thoughts. After all I haven’t lived on my own in many years, so moving is a scary idea. Then the obvious security concerns of a woman living alone in the big city. To wit, I have been having visions of serial killers climbing in the window from the fire escape. Security bars? Those won’t stop a serial killer! You have to use a stake through the heart!

Then I was signing the paperwork for my apartment and there was something about bed bugs. It said there weren’t any my building. But when I got my lock I was looking at all the bed bug stuff, and there were bed bug proof seat covers for people to carry with them for when they have to sit …..

Wait a minute, I can get a bed bug infestation in my butt? Now I have another scary thought.

I’m. Going. To. Die.