Can a person be too sensitive? I have been told I am too sensitive, when I was a little girl the term was “Crybaby”. My response was to build a wall around me, not trust anyone and keep my feelings deep inside.

Of course that is all difficult to maintain long term. It runs the risk of being called the opposite, “cold”, which I have also been called.

Over the years I have tried to find a middle ground, and sometimes it doesn’t seem worth the effort. Sometimes I just want to close the door and hide from the world. Sometimes I do close the door and hide from the world. The problem is I don’t live alone and someone can always find me. Being caught sulking in your bedroom has its own set of social repercussions.

Along with the sulking is the seething jealousy at the people who are well adjusted socially and don’t say the wrong thing and have perfect poise. Of course no one is really perfect, but when your perception is that you do everything wrong, it is easy to think that there are perfect people. People who never say the wrong thing, so then I start to remember and catalog everything that they have said about me and done to me, all the laughing and calling attention to my faults that I am trying so desperately trying to hide from the world, and of course that doesn’t help matters much.

The wall needs to be fixed, there are too many gaping holes in it where my feelings are leaking out. I need to relearn how not to trust people and how to not care what people say.

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