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Before anyone jumps all over my shit, I know my definition of a bad day is nowhere near as bad as some people’s bad day. Some people have cancer, some people are abused, some people are homeless, have no healthcare, have no friends, voted for Trump and now realize he lied to them. OK that last group I have lost all sympathy for. If you are stupid enough to believe his lies, you deserve all the pain you get.

Whew. Today started good, no work, so no getting up early, in fact I didn’t get up to lunchtime. That’s when the shit hit the fan. It look like I had spilled coffee on my kitchen counter, but to the left of my sink and my coffee maker is to the right of my sink. Then I smelled the liquid and it smelled like vinegar, but I don’t have vinegar in my apartment because I am allergic to it. Then I thought, maybe I spilled beer, you know, maybe I poured a glass of beer, didn’t drink it and when I poured it out I missed the sink (could happen right?), so I started to clean it up, picking up the things on my counter and rinsing them and mopping up the spill, then I noticed it was all over the wall, and on the underside of my cabinets! What the actual FUCK happened here?

I had been boiling water to cook pasta for my lunch. I turned off the water, I cleared off my table, moved everything from my counters to the table and washed the counters and my wall. The liquid seemed to be coming from behind my kitchen cabinets. I looked above them and there were no stains so it wasn’t coming from the apartment above. That leaves only one explanation. Demons. My apartment is possessed by demons. I briefly considered calling my landlord, but decided against it.

Then I got diarrhea, while doing my laundry.

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Getting off at 86th Street a young Japanese girl playing the violin. She stands by the stairs with her tiny violin and the case is open on the ground. Today it was filled with dollar bills. The last time I saw her it was empty. She plays fast, always the same music, or type of music and over by the wall an adult is watching over her. She never smiles, in fact her facial expression is rather unpleasant, like she doesn’t want to be there.

Too many people. The Q was supposed to make my life easier and reduce crowding on the subway. It doesn’t seem to have worked. I had to wait for a second train because the first was too crowded.

Man with a red bike. Not a folding one a regular one. Which leaves me with the question why take the subway when you have a bike? I know it was cold but I saw other people riding their bikes. If I had a bike I would ride it every chance I got.

Twin girls about 7 years old wearing matching fur leopard prints hats with ears and matching pink coats. One of the girls had matching mittens (to the hat), grey tights and bright blue and pink sneakers. The other girl had pink gloves, pink tights, and pale pink Mary-Janes.

Second Ave Subway partie deux

After all my complaining about the new subway, i decided I should give it a try. It does make my commute easier and faster, except for having to take the elevator at the Lexington Station (claustrophobic me?). And of course I took pictures. The first set is from the 96th Street Station by Rite Aid. The roof over the entrances is clear. They look white because it had snowed.



This next set of pictures is from the Lexington & 63rd St. Station, elevator exit to 3rd Ave.

Second Avenue Subway

If you look at all the ads, you would think the new subway was the best thing to happen to the Upper East Side since Gehrig was born there.

As a resident of the UES, I can tell you that is a joke. First of all, it goes from 96th Street to Time Square, so if you need to go to GCT to catch the 7 train, well you still can, but you’ll be catching it from Time Square.

And tonight when I needed a train home from Harold Square, it wasn’t running. Add to that the fact that I am hearing rumors of huge rent increases leading me to believe I’m going to have to move and I hate moving … this is not helping my depression … new Q train is a fucking joke.

Depression is

Depression is a fucking bitch. As I say that I hope the people who I told to not read my blog, are not reading it, because they would be offended at my language. After years of denial, I have to face the truth, my BFF told me, Girl, you are so depressed. And then I spent an evening crying over Facebook. Not what someone posted to me, my hateful posts back to him. Amazingly, he still talks to me. Maybe he understands.

 

The first thing people say when someone says they are depressed is “What do you have to be depressed about?” That comment kept me from realizing my own depression. I now know. Depression doesn’t depend on external forces, depression comes from inside. Even though I am ‘living my dream’, my brain …. is fucking me up. Telling me, I don’t deserve anything good that happens to me. And, you don’t deserve to be happy, you don’t deserve the friends you have. I can’t figure out why these people who have it made want me to be their friend. And friends who have left me, because I couldn’t explain … I don’t know what I’m saying, “Depression lies & my brain is sometimes an asshole”. That’s all I got.

So here I am 

It was a frustrating day at first. Overslept so I missed church then was late to a new knitting group meeting. This one is a Ravelry group and there were just four of us but it was pleasant. 

Because of my screwups I didn’t get food. I was tempted to make my way to The Pony Bar for an avocado sandwich but opted for someplace I wouldn’t have to walk so far since my boot wore a hole in my heel. I ended up at the Dive Bar. 

Not “a dive bar”, The Dive Bar, 732 Amsterdam Ave., NYC. I had a Vegetarian Reuben. It came with a salad with no dressing, just the way I like it. Is it any wonder why I love this place? Well that and the power outlets under the bar and the access to free wifi. They also will fill a growler. 

It made me think of why I first came here, but it’s been so long I don’t really remember. I think I kind of stumbled upon it by accident the first time and was so impressed I keep coming back. Or at least try to stop here whenever I’m on the West Side. For a while I was writing snippy reviews on Yelp because the owner/manager would respond to any rating below a 4 and try to make it better. But I don’t know how this place could be any better than it is unless the food and drink was free.

Laundry 

Doing laundry is a pain, first there’s the whole actually having to wash my clothes. If i was rich and didn’t have trust issues (i don’t like people touching my stuff), I would pay for someone to wash my clothes.

It’s worse when it’s raining. Especially when it’s been raining all day so there are puddles i have to walk through. Add to that the construction workers keep moving the fences so i had to backtrack while pulling a rolling cart in the rain. Then i realized i had forgotten my laundry detergent, so i had to go back to my apartment to get it. I hate doing laundry.

Frustration

My plan was to log on tonight and clean up my blogs.

Today I went on WordPress and was appalled at how I had been neglecting my blogs. I started a new one to separate my stories from my crafts (because they are free so why not?) and saw how outdated they were. I was ashamed and decided that tonight I would fix that.

When I got home I …. started knitting. My red hat was just not turning out the way I wanted it to and so I had to start another. Then I opened my laptop and clicked on Chrome …. and nothing happened. An hour later after downloading and trying to reinstall, still nothing. I am fucking pissed.

Right now I am using Opera. But I couldn’t figure out how to transfer my bookmarks and of COURSE, I don’t have the websites names written down.

This is my life.

Snowpacalypse is a ‘new’ word, a made up word combining ‘snow’ with apocalypse, which shows you how much they (the ones that made it up) know since they spelled it wrong. It’s also a word i hate and never wanted to use. I find it distasteful to use a word that refers to God’s judgment for a weather event. It’s a blizzard, let’s stick with that.

While i’m on my soapbox, why are we naming storms? Hurricanes are named because there are several in a season, there are five lists of names to rotate between the years and the names are in alphabetical order. That’s how you know if it was a particularly bad year, if you can a hurricane Tanya, that was a bad year. This naming of blizzards is rather haphazard. Winter Storm Jonas? Why not just ‘the January blizzard of 2016’ if you are worried there might be more. ‘The blizzard of 2015-16 winter’ if this is the only one.

I knew it had snowed before i opened my eyes, the snow plows on 2nd Avenue woke me. When i look at my windows i can see snow on my windowsills. The snow plows came by again so it must still be snowing, i haven’t looked out my windows yet. Not even when i heard some guy screaming for help, once. I hope someone helped him, or it was a joke.

Normally when it snows like this i go to the park and take pictures. Maybe tomorrow, today i’m staying in.