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The beginning of evil

My journey begins at the 96th Street Subway station. Today I rode the train to Grand Central Terminal and took pictures of all the stops. I took pictures of the tile work mainly and will provide commentary and tips for surviving the NYC Subway system.


All the subway stations have signs like this, blue tile surrounding the number of the station. This is the station I come to every morning to go to work.


This station has a waiting room. This is how it looks from the track.


This is the picture that proves my contention that the green train is evil, I don’t know if you can see but there are butterflies coming out of her mouth. This is a movie I would never ever ever go see.


These are the tiles I was looking for to take pictures of, some of the stations have pretty pictures in tiles, I thought all of them did, I guess I just wasn’t paying attention because as you will see, not all of them do.

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This was one of those days when I wanted to do this. Lie in the grass in the shade. There were two reasons I couldn’t.

One is Em was here and we were walking around, lunch and nail appointment and giving money to Greenpeace. The second reason is –

I’m allergic to grass.

There is now proof that the Green Train is an instrument of Satan. There is a big picture of a girl with butterflies coming out of her mouth and everyone knows butterflies are evil. Well, my best friend will tell you butterflies are evil.

Actually it is just an ad for a movie coming out August 30 called “Possession”. Can you picture the audition for the girl?

‘So can you roll your eyes back into your head? Let’s see. No all the way back, now spit out butterflies!’

Dear old demented Dad. Although I have heard this joke before, except when I heard it the person getting the loan was a blond.

 His name might have been Bubba. He was from Mississippi, and he needed a loan, so…he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000, and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.

The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral to obtain a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.

The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumnus from Ole Miss University, a highly sophisticated investor and a Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The good ‘ole boy replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Keep an eye on those southern boys! Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.

And yes, dear old dad is a good ‘ole boy.

What is worse? The two drunk girls dancing and making out or the woman with the large breasts and too small shirt?

We got to defend the beach

From the evil Army guys from that far away country of New Jersey. So we’re going to build a building and fill it with guns and stuff and when it’s finished … Oh, the war is over? Ok peace bro lets go home.

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Who is depraved. Really.

Dead Penguins – I never knew this!

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in
Antarctica — where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which
lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very
committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a
form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of its
family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using
their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the
dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and
one by one, they begin to emit a unique sound — a haunting bird-song
that sounds like this:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”

Then, they kick him in the ice hole . . .

You didn’t really believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

Where the big gun was

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Fort Tilden

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The reason I was going to Dutchess County was to go see Cold Play with my best friend and two of her boys. It was a graduation present for one of them. My friend had also planned a surprise for her other boy, they had an extra ticket that Em was going to ‘sell’ that was actually going to be for a friend of his that had been traveling.

She ran into traffic so we had to wait and make up excuses as to why we weren’t leaving. We walked out to the parking lot, Em knew her son’s friend was close, when we didn’t get in the car he yelled, “What are we waiting for?” A voice piped up behind him, “You’re waiting for me.” It was perfection.

At the concert we got wristbands to wear, ‘part of the show’ they kept flashing on the viewscreens, which were 4 oval discs seemingly suspended in the air. After Wolf Gang (follow them on twitter! @wolfgang and make sure you get the right Wolf Gang!) and Robyn we got to Cold Play. The arena was pitch black and the wristbands lit up. Whatever color the wristband were that was the color the lights were, blue, pink, green, yellow and white (Nick collected them after the show to see if he can figure out how they work). It was glorious.

My ears were buzzing for a day, my throat is still scratchy. People are jealous I got to go.